Just about me!

As many of you know, I've been struggling with losing weight for oh, like 4 years! I've had many things that have kept me from losing weight, mostly my own issues. I've had "a new day" a number of times and it just hasn't stuck for very long. I'd say "okay, I'm going to go without candy or sweets for a week." I make it a day and say to myself, "I guess I can do it, I just don't want to." So then I quit. I would think I had the self control to do it and fooled myself into thinking that if I could make it a day, I could make it as long as I wanted to.

Last winter we signed up at a gym and it was good. Brian said I could get a personal trainer and  that was great too. I worked out so hard and didn't see any real results on the scale. My trainer worked with my food and said I was doing everything right, but just wasn't losing. I was so frustrated. I was spending almost 2 hours a day at the gym. I had one week where it went well and I lost 3 pounds, but shortly after that we were in the process of moving and I couldn't keep up with it.

We moved up to Logan and lost our membership because they didn't have a gym up here. I also started feeling guilty about taking the kids to the daycare there for that long every day. I was starting to think this was just the way it was going to be for the next 4 years 'til my kids were in school and I could work out then. It was very frustrating. I hated waking up and putting on the same clothes that I packed away last year saying that I would for sure be out of them by this year. I hated, well, so many things. I hated the way I looked and the way I felt about how I looked.

Two weeks ago I started the South Beach Diet. I've done Weight Watchers and it's a great program, but I just didn't want to have to think about it. This diet took the thinking out of it. It also took out pretty much all the good things, but I didn't want to think about it, and this sounded easy enough. Surprisingly it was pretty easy. We went down to my parents house 2 days after I started it. The last timewe went down there I gained 3 pounds and just barely lost it, after 3 weeks. My Mom, being the great Mom and Grandma she is, made 2 different kinds of cookies for everyone to enjoy and had candy in various dishes around the house. I didn't even take one bite. Even at night when we were sitting around the table playing games and there was a plate full of cookies, I wasn't even tempted. I couldn't believe it. The next day we got pizza and I so wanted a bite, but I didn't. Again, couldn't believe my strength. There have been so many times in these two weeks that normally I would have taken a bite here or a little bit there and I didn't. I'm so freakin' proud of myself!!! Even through everyone in my house eating candy from Halloween. Not a bite here!

So it's been 2 weeks. I'm down 8 pounds and feel like I'm finally in control of myself. Brian told me I could buy an elliptical, so we did on Monday. Now I can work out at home when the kids are in bed, or in the morning before everyone wakes up and not feel guilty that I should be home with the family. I feel like there's light at the end of a tunnel that was so long I never thought I'd make it out of. Eight down, 22 to go!